“Why exactly have you never gotten a haircut again, sir?” Jason’s closest advisor asked him as he admired himself in the mirror ahead of his next major announcement.
“How else would I express myself if I didn’t?” Jason snapped back with a vicious tone…or perhaps jovially.
“Well,” Phil stammered, uncertain of whether he had angered Jason or made him happy. “Most people tend to use facial expressions, or fluctuate their general tone of voice. Basically every way except merely letting their hair grow endlessly.” Phil had known Jason for longer than most, and even still was imperceptive as to what his king was feeling. This is best illustrated by the fact that Phil was who Jason turned to for all major decisions, and yet Phil was not his name.
Jason had forgotten his name long ago, but deemed the name “Phil” a fair guess as it was the name for the majority of the males in his kingdom. “That’s an excellent point,” Jason joked with his chief advisor. “I hadn’t thought of it that way,” he said in a malicious tone that made Phil turn pale. “Now let’s go greet the commoners,” he said in a way that showed how much he enjoyed his job…or perhaps that he despised it. As he walked through the expansive hallways in between paintings of kings past, Jason’s stark contrast to them was all too apparent. None had come to power as quickly as Jason, and none had the incredible combination of fear and love that Jason commanded. The fear due to the uncertainty of his tone, and the love coming from the flowing locks of his. As Jason swung the double doors open and stepped onto the balcony overseeing all his kingdom, the populace began to cheer.
Along the edge of the town, some peasants were passing by in a covered wagon pulled by two horses. They were a merry group of lasses who left their previous kingdom in search of a fresh start – one that wasn’t as male-dominated as the previous one.
“Oh, wow! Look!” exclaimed one of the girls pointing to Jason as he gave his speech.
“This kingdom appears to be run by a girl!” she shrieked with excitement as the rest got equally as excited. All except for one.
“Are you sure that’s a girl? It looks like a guy to me,” Kelly responded. The rest of the girls began to laugh and then abruptly stopped.
“Wait, are you serious?” asked one of the girls.
“Yes. I am 100% serious that I believe that that is a guy up there.” Kelly said providing no help at all with her lack of any discernible inflection. Unable to determine if she was joking or serious, the group looked at each other nervously before deciding she must be joking. So they again began to laugh and then descended from their wagon to head amongst the crowd. And so they watched Jason’s speech from the back of the crowd. They found themselves – just as the rest of the crowd – unable to determine the difference between his jokes and his more somber moments. All except Kelly.
“Wow, that speech was really moving,” Kelly said aloud in amazement…or maybe just joking while her friends were recovering from the laughing fit Jason’s speech had put them, as well as the rest of the crowd, in. Once again perplexed by Kelly’s inability to use simple fluctuations in tone to convey her true emotions, her friends began to laugh at what they could only assume she meant as another hilarious joke. Unable to deal with all the emotions she was feeling – or perhaps, not feeling – Kelly decided to leave her friends to their laughter and head towards the castle for a word with Jason about his speech.
“And then the baker said, ‘Well, then what does he brew?” Jason said finishing off a well-
timed joke…maybe. It’s tough to say for certain.
“So, am I in trouble or not?” Phil asked with genuine terror in his eyes. Just then two guards came through the doors with Kelly in their arms.
“Sir, we found this troublemaker plotting to assassinate you!” shouted one guard.
“Ok, well, that’s just not true. I simply asked for directions.” Kelly politely stated, or so she thought.
“That’s quite enough of your mouth!” the other guard shouted, visibly shaken from the great forcefulness with which Kelly had been speaking. Or maybe overwhelmed with her impeccable manners.
“Let her go,” Jason said in a powerful, or soft, way with his facial expressions providing no valuable information for the guards as to whether he was serious or not. But against their better judgment, the guards decided he was perhaps serious and let her go. “What’s your name?” Jason asked in what everyone assumed was a mocking tone – except Kelly.
“Kelly. Kelly O’EricsSister,” she replied with great spite…at least that’s what Phil thought. “What’s your name?”
“King Cake Jason,” he responded as if he was under duress…or not. The conversation continued into the early hours of the next morning. One by one, Jason’s advisors and guards began leaving the room unable to deal with what was unfolding before them. Were they mad at each other? Or were they in love? To an outsider, it was impossible to perceive. However, for Jason and Kelly all that mattered was that they found someone else like themselves. And nothing could make them happier than that…or maybe not. It’s really tough to say with those two.